


Break Me Shake Me

by mohinikapuahi



Series: Crash & Burn [7]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: M/M, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-23
Updated: 2011-07-23
Packaged: 2017-10-21 16:30:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/227262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mohinikapuahi/pseuds/mohinikapuahi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Title: Break Me, Shake Me<br/>Prompt: H/C prompt - Counselling<br/>Rating: G<br/>Beta: Alassenya<br/>Warning: Spoilers for Season 1<br/>Summary: The thought of goodbyes can be too painful.<br/>Authors Notes: Written for HC Bingo on Dreamwidth</p>
            </blockquote>





	Break Me Shake Me

After the funeral, all Danny wanted to do was return to Hawaii; not only for his own sake, but for Grace's. It was almost painful to admit it, but the sooner they were away from the state of New Jersey, the sooner they would be able to heal. There were too many bitter memories here now, too

They weren't able to fly out immediately, of course. There was the lawyer to see, concerning Rachel's will - which, predictably, left everything to Grace, and Danny was fine with that - and the mile-long list of people and organisations that had to be notified, starting with Social Security and ending with the women Rachel had tea with every month. Danny dealt with it all himself, driving himself into exhaustion so that he could sleep at night.

His mother was delighted that they were staying a few more days. She cooked their meals, made formula for Matthew, washed all the diapers and baby clothes, and kept Grace entertained after school if Danny was still busy. She was everything that a mother could and should be, and Danny was grateful from the bottom of his heart.

As for Steve ... he didn’t know what he would have done without his partner. From the very minute that his world had started spinning off its axis, Steve had stepped in and taken control for him. He had been attentive, loving and compassionate when he needed it and had known when to step back and let Danny lick his wounds in solitude. Somehow he'd known that Danny couldn’t deal with Grace and Matthew both, and had relieved Danny of having to make an agonising decision by simply taking over everything that related to the baby, leaving Danny free to concentrate on Grace.

He should have felt guilty about practically dumping a two-week-old baby on a man who was more at home with live ordnance than loaded diapers, but Steve hadn’t batted an eyelid. He'd applied himself to the task of looking after Matthew with the same singular focus that he did to everything else. Admittedly (and Danny would have to check that later) he'd probably framed it in his head as a "neonatal familiarisation and maintenance activity" but whatever, it was working, and under Maureen's tutelage Steve was becoming a damned good nanny. Danny could barely remember hearing Matthew cry, Steve had taken such attentive care of him.

Now, as they waited at the airport for their flight home, Steve held the baby in his arms. There was a large bag full of baby equipment on the floor in front of him, with his and Danny's small personal bag next to it. Danny and Grace sat, quiet and subdued in the seats next to beside him as they waited for their plane to be called. His mother and father sat in a pair of seats facing them.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay a few days longer?” Maureen asked, her eyes shimmering with tears.

“Ma, we really need to get back, settle into some sort of rhythm.” Danny sighed. He’d explained this to his parents already. "Grace needs to get back to school, she's had enough disruption the last couple of years."

"You know she could stay ..."

“You should hold Matthew for a bit, Maureen, so I can take a photo.” Steve smiled at her, changing the subject, as he squatted in front of her, handing her his precious cargo.

“What have I told you, Steven?” Maureen admonished him in a sing song voice as she spoke at the baby.

“I’m sorry … Ma.” Steve smiled sheepishly.

“That’s better.” She nodded approvingly.

Steve got his phone out and took a photo of the Matthew with his two fond grandparents, and then another with Grace, and yet another with all five Williamses together.

They were all laughing as he finished and their flight was called. Danny busied himself with making sure Grace had her Hannah Montana travel case and that all the other bags were picked up.

“You know you two are welcome to come down and stay for as long as you both like.” Steve said to Daniel Snr as they shook hands.

“We might just take you up on that offer, young man.”

Maureen stood and gently passed Matthew back to Steve, then hugged as she moved to hug her granddaughter goodbye. Steve settled Matthew back in his left arm, the thumb of his free hand brushing across Matthew’s cheek.

“Danny, I’m here if you need anything, anything at all.” Maureen through her arms around her son and hugged him tightly.

“I know ma, we’ll be okay.” He hugged his mother tightly before releasing her and kissing her cheek affectionately. “Sorry I’ve been so distracted. It’s been a miserable week.”

“You’ve had a lot on your plate.” She reached out and smoothed the shoulder of his shirt, wanting to soothe him.

“It will all get better, son.” Daniel Snr extended a hand for him to shake, before pulling him into a tight embrace.

“I know, Dad.” Danny hugged him, “I know. “ Danny pulled out of his father’s embrace and sighed looking at Grace as she stood waiting for him, her eyes never leaving him.

“Come on, monkey. We need to go.” He walked forward and took Grace’s hand moving toward the gate, fishing for the boarding passes.

Steve smiled at Maureen and shrugged sympathetically. He could see that Danny’s pain was hurting her as well, but there was nothing he could do to help them. Only time would mend the wounds they had all suffered this week.

Maureen pulled him into a tight embrace, her arms around his waist. “Look after my son and grandbabies for me?”

“Like they were my own.” Steve vowed.

She sniffed and smiled up at him. "They are yours, silly."

Steve blinked at the sudden realisation that they really were his ... his very own family.

~*~*~*~*~*~

They were greeted by Chin and Kono at the luggage carousel.

“Hey, Boss.” Kono said softly as she leaned in close to look at Matthew’s sleeping face. “We did those jobs you emailed us about.”

“Have any issues?” Steve smiled back, relaxing for what seemed like the first time in years.

“Not a one." She smiled at the baby and traced her fingertips across his cheek. "Can I hold him?”

“Maybe when he wakes up.” Steve responded quickly, and his hold perceptibly tightened. Luckily he spotted their cases and was able to divert Kono and Chin from their natural interest in the baby.

“Can you drop us at a hotel Steve?" asked Danny. "I’ll have to find us an apartment.”

Steve frowned at him. He'd be hurt, except that he could see how exhausted Danny was. “Don’t be stupid, you're staying with me.”

Danny didn’t have the energy to argue; he merely tightened his grip on Grace’s hand and followed his friends.

Steve’s truck was sitting in a parking bay close to the terminal. Chin and Kono swung their bags into the tray, while Steve settled Matthew into a baby carrier that had been installed behind the driver’s seat. Danny lifted Grace onto the seat behind the passenger seat and buckled her in before he climbed into the front seat.

Steve watched as he clipped Matthew into his harness in his caarrier walked around the back of the truck to where Chin and Kono stood.

“He okay, brah?” Chin asked, nodding his head toward Danny.

“He will be, he’s had a hard week.” Steve answered, not completely sure he wasn’t lying.

“We set up the beds and crib like you asked, Boss," added Kono. "All the other stuff you asked for is on the dining room table, and all the information you wanted is on the desk. A package arrived from DC for you; we left it with the other stuff. We have a portfolio of suitable candidates just like you asked and there's enough food in the fridge to last you a week. There’s formula too.”

“If you need anything...” Chin started to say.

“I’ll call you. Trust me, I know I'm not going to get through this on my own.” He gripped Chin’s shoulder in a strong hand as he allowed Kono to wrap her arms around his waist and hug him tightly.

He climbed into the truck, checking his family while he buckled his seat belt. Grace sat quietly looking out the window, dolphin trainer Annie caught in a tight grip in her hand. Matthew slept in the carrier, blissfully unaware of the tension around him. Danny sat in the front seat, his fisted hands on his thighs, looking out the front window of the truck, not giving any acknowledgement that anyone else was even with him. Steve sighed - Danny was going to pieces right in front of him.

The drive to the house was silent, but thankfully quick. Steve pulled the car to a halt in the driveway and said, “Welcome home.” He reached out a hand to touch Danny’s that still lay on his thigh, and couldn’t contain a wince as Danny shrugged out from under his touch.

“Thank you step-Steve.” Grace stood and leaned through the seats to press a kiss to his cheek.

"You're welcome, honey," he smiled back at her.

Steve slid out of the truck and unfastened the capsule from the back seat. He carried Matthew down the rest of the driveway and into the house, pausing only to unlock the door and punch in the key code. He placed the carrier gently on the coffee table before he turned to face Grace and Danny.

“Grace, honey,” he knelt in front of her. “Would it be alright if I took Danno out to the beach for a few minutes? I need to speak to him.”  
Grace looked up into Danny’s face, her bottom lip quivering as she contemplated the question, before she turned back to Steve. “Okay.” She nodded.

“Thank you, darling.” Steve hugged her tightly. “Can you look after Matthew for me? If I leave him beside you, and you sit here, you will be able to see us the whole time we are out there.”

“Okay,” Grace nodded her pigtails bobbing.

“Danny.” Steve stood up and spoke to his partner. “Outside, now.”

Steve strode out of the house and walked across the grass and onto the sand. He turned and waited until Danny stopped walking.

“What’s wrong, Danny?” Steve asked gently.

“Nothing, aside from the fact that the mother of my children just died. My daughter is broken and my son will never know his mother. I have two children to raise on my own and no fucking idea how to do it. Aside from that the world is all puppies and fluffy kittens.”

“Don’t be an asshole.”

“I’m sorry, I’m being an asshole?” Danny turned on Steve, his hands waving wildly. "What about you?"

Anger flared in Steve and before he knew it his balance had shifted. “Are you saying I'm the asshole?” he spat out before he could stop it, then he caught himself and took a deep breath. He had to push back his own emotions, he had to stay in command of himself. Danny was obviously about to blow off some steam and if both of them lost control it could turn out badly, especially with Grace watching. He had to remember that it had been a long hard week for everyone, and while he had done everything he could to make it easier for Danny, Danny was still bearing a huge emotional burden.

“Why don’t you tell me what I’ve done now?” he asked, trying to sound calm but knowing that the clenched teeth didn't exactly help.

“Don’t you think I can see where this is going to go?”

“Where this is going? What the fuck are you talking about, Danny?”

“Are you so emotionally retarded that you can’t see it?”

“See what? You’re not making any sense.”

“You, Steven.” Danny turned on him, hands in full flail mode. “You’re the problem in this little scenario. Look at you. We have shared one kiss. Just one. Granted I told you that I love you and you’ve reciprocated. But that’s inconsequential. Groping teenagers tell dumb cheerleaders that all the time. Means to an end.” He snorted, “At least they’ve fucked, at least they have an idea of where things are at. Yet here we are. My family have practically absorbed you like you’ve always been there. My mother thinks you’re the fucking second coming. They never even did that with Rachel. My son barely knows that I’m his father and my daughter even has a fucking pet name for you. We’re going to talk about that, believe me. And on top of all that we haven’t even fucked yet. We’re not even a real couple yet, but suddenly we’re settled down with two kids and a mortgage. You want us to just move in here and play happy families? How long do you think that’s going to last, Mr Casual Fuck and Run? I am not doing this. No fucking way, Steven.”

“What?" Steve was stunned. How had Danny taken everything and twisted it like that? "I wouldn’t do that. Not to anyone and definitely not to you. Why are you even thinking that?”

“Because it's all happened too fast, Steve. Too fast.” Danny started pacing back and forth on the beach.

“Tell me what’s wrong, Danny. We can fix it. We’ll slow down."

“We can’t slow down. You. You have two speeds, too fast and warp. You’re going to get yourself killed. You’ve got a fucking death wish. Don’t you understand? I can’t do this. I can’t do this …” he waved his arms wildly through the air, “this make-believe couple thing with you. It’s not just me now, do you understand? It’s the kids. You'd have to be a parent, and I won’t do that to the kids. They CANT lose another parent. Don’t you see that? If they lost you they’d be all alone because I don’t think I would survive, So, short story? I’m sure as hell not doing it this.”  


Steve tried to placate him. “I'm not going to leave, and I'm not going to die. I’ll be more careful, I promise. We can take this slowly, Danny, give you time to get used to it.”

“How much slower can we go? We’ve danced around each other for twelve months with just one kiss, and now you want to be careful? Seriously, Steve?”

“We can do this. I’ll back off, let you be. If you want space I’ll move out. The kids need a home, so this can be their home. I’ll give you anything that I can to make you happy, and to give the kids a good life. More than anything in the world I want to be with all of you.”

“This is your house,” Danny muttered.

“It’s my father’s house and as far as I am concerned it’s just as much yours. I’ll pack a bag, I’ll be gone in an hour. I'll sleep at Mary's, or bunk with Chin for a while.”

“No! I don't want you to go. I don't want to chase you away.”

"What do you want, then?"

Danny flopped onto one of the beach chairs, his face betraying his pain and distress. “I don't know. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It’s all just so fucked up.”

Steve knelt in front of him and turned Danny’s face to look into his eyes. “Listen to me, Danny. If you want to do this alone, I’ll step back. If you want my help, then I’ll be here. Whatever you need it’s yours, OK? I love you and I love the kids, and I just want you all to be happy again. If that means that I have to go slow and just be Uncle Steve until the kids are good with it then that’s what we’ll do. If you don't think you can get them settled with me around, then I'll move out for a while. It's whatever they need. Whatever you need."

Danny turned and buried his face in Steve’s chest. “Don't leave," he murmured, his voice muffled against the fabric. "Please don’t leave me. Us."

“That’s what this is all about isn’t it?” Steve wrapped his arms around Danny, hugged him tightly until he could feel the emotion draining away.

“I’ve got to think about the kids now. No matter what I want, I have to think of them. They can’t lose anyone else.”

“They’re not going to. I’ve got this covered, Danny. “

“You don’t know that. No-one does.”

Steve moved his hand in soothing circles over Danny's back. “Do you trust me?”

“What sort of a question is that?” Danny pulled back and looked into Steve’s face. "Of course I trust you."

“Good. Then trust me when I say that nothing is going to happen to anyone. We’ll go slowly and we’ll work at it, and we'll make a family out of us. We'll get them settled in school. We’ll go to family counselling if we need to. We’re going to be careful at work and we’re going to make sure the kids are safe and happy.”

“You?” Danny pointed at him. “You can do all this?”

“No," answered Steve, pulling Danny to his feet. He held him there, looking into the blue eyes that meant so much to him now. "We can do all this. Together.”


End file.
